No. I’m not kidding…But, first, let’s talk about all the things we wish we could still do and the grand plans we had for our lives.
For years, my life’s itinerary was busting my ass up the corporate ladder at my job, then, retiring and selling real estate as a side hustle. Of course there would’ve been tons of travel sprinkled in and buying a beach rental as an investment, all paid for with the extra $$$ I’d make from promotions and bonuses. I had it all figured out! I was in it to win it!!
💥🔥🖐️…more💥…more🔥…more🖐️. STOP, RIGHT, THERE, missy.
Hello, MS…foot drop, numb fingers & toes, balance bullshit, MS hug, fingers that don’t function, optic neuritis X 3, injections, infusions, copious drugs, spinal taps, foot braces, trips, falls, a stem cell transplant, trekking poles. Holy shit! I’m out of breath! Typing those all at once, and knowing it only scratches the surface of all the freaking hoops I’ve had to jump through for this obnoxious disease is killing my vibe. This post is about blessings…from whatever force is guiding your life..
About those blessings. I know I’m not the only one out there, who, despite some combination of the typical MS setbacks/symptoms I mentioned, feels the blessings that have come into your life since MS far outweigh your past dreams for your future. Let’s be honest. We could sit around and bitch all damn day about the plans we had that went up in smoke when our MS train rolled into town. You know, the one with no return ticket. Yes. We’ve all earned our “poor me” moments. But, when your moments turn into your mantra, you’re screwed. You’re spinning your wheels as the rest of the world moves on without you.
My truth? I’m not one of those people. But I see them everywhere, ALL DAY LONG on social media. I wonder how it’s working out for those people? I wonder if they can find a single blessing in their day that came as a result of MS? i wonder if they realize their thoughts are adding fuel to their MS fire. You’re never going to hear a doctor/counselor/loved-one say “Your negative thoughts are the best thing you can do to keep your symptoms in check. Bitch and moan away!!”
At the risk of a side eye and an eye roll, would you believe I feel freer, stronger (mentally), more creative, more grateful and more excited for the future than I ever have, including my pre-MS life? Once so much has been taken away from you and you’ve endured a ridiculous amount of pain and disappointment, you have nowhere to go but upward…and onward.
MS gives you no choice but to start looking inward, prioritizing what and who is and isn’t important, which of those things you need to cut loose, and appreciating what you can still do, albeit differently than before MS.
I’m not saying you should be thanking the universe for gracing you with MS. I’m saying there is so much meaty good fortune to be found on the other side of your shit storm. People you never would have met. Experiences you never would have had. In-depth relationships and conversations that never would have made it onto your radar. A perspective that typically only comes with a loss. If it took MS to haul all the garbage out of your life, so be it! If you’re thinking “This bitch can shove her positivity up her ass!”, I get it. You’re having a moment. Go ahead. Have it. Just don’t let it turn into your unraveling.
There are too many blessings out there to be found. You’ve gotta have your shit together when they start showing up.
Peace and love, my friends.
Brooke